Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
