so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
