i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Rumble strips road head = magical
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
