and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
