I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
