I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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