You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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