Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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