he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
