Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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