Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
