Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
