I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
nutella sex= disaster
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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