If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I look better un-naked...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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