Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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