Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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