So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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