I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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