I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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