Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
