pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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