Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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