It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
