your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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