When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
