Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
