he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
