dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love you.
Bad choice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
