when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
