I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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