My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
