She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you traded sex for a burrito?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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