I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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