over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
