she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize