NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
