the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
