I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
