Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
