You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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