it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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