You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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