omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
