so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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