May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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