Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
