Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did i walk over a car last night?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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