sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
