I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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