I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
