And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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