you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Life without a bra equals bliss.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize