Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
