if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
