i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize