we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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