called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
