I'm going to jail i love you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
