we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
