I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize