i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
