You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
