Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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