6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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